Friday, July 22, 2005
pondering loneliness
i took a deliriously wonderful late-night bikeride last night and got to spend some time talking to God. as i began praying for my friends i realized that the overwhelming majority of my prayers for them (and for myself) were about loneliness. what is this thing? why is it so prevalent? why does it hurt so deeply? what is its purpose? is it simply a means to make us seek God? (i don't insinuate that God causes it, but He does allow us to walk through it) can we ever be fully healed from it on this earth? how can i be surrounded by the best friends in the world and still feel so alone? i need to spend some more time thinking about it, and more importantly, asking God for wisdom and help concerning it. but i just related to scott when he said once that while taking out the garbage one night he realized that he just longed to be with his God. and when don miller said in blue like jazz, "i didn't want to be on earth that night." the pain of this world is deep and wide and profound, and right now i'm longing for heaven.
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3 comments:
i hear you, girl, i hear you.
Jess, our coffee/ water date the other day was invaluable to me. Our conversation danced along these lines, and maybe, just maybe God loves us too much to allow that gnawing loneliness to depart from us. Would we love Him less, need Him less, worship Him less if we were satisfied? I believe I would... I don't know...
Krysty Kay
PS: you are beautiful. thank you for your honesty. thank you.
Jess,
I so hear where your coming from, and can just reiterate what Krysty said. I have been pondering this desire in me for companionship and wsonder how much that would affect my relationship with God. The more I give this desire up to Him the more it burns in me, for some unknown reason. Meanwhile, I concentrate on God as being my Lover...and have had to reread Sacred Romance, twice.
Hang in there girl! Be prayin' for u.
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